I am breaking up with you. It took some time to get there but I now know it is time. Like many other bad relationships you have made me feel as though I need you where in fact after being without you for well over 2 years I have come to find I am much better without you.
For years you have made me believe that if I was not with you I was missing out on some aspect of health. You made me feel as though I needed you to keep in shape, to be healthier and to stay lean where in fact you stunt growth and development in all of those areas. Being with you gave me overuse injuries quicker than a hiccup, you never push my most important muscle, my heart never really works hard enough, my muscles never reach their full potential, and burning calories and staying lean with you is like cutting grass with scissors. Yeah, sure it can be done but I much rather just start a lawn mower and be done in 10 minutes rather than 3 hours.
The issue with you is you are a drug, you and your self proclaimed runners high. If that was true, drug dealers would be out of business (get it?) I call your bluff on your runners high. I see you infecting everyone else but I hope this letter gets out and lets people know it is ok to not do something if you hate it. There are better ways. I hope we can stop the spread of this disease and put an end to all of those people who dread you in their life but think you are necessary. People are in love with idea of the results they believe you promise to give them but much like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, promises are always in the distance. I become weaker, atrophied; my knees hurt, my posture breaks down, my shins hurt, my nipples shafe, and my god does it take forever to please you. I spend miles upon miles out there during the hottest of days and the coldest of days and still you want more. On the days that I just cannot bear to go run I feel guilty, and there is no alternative to running other than more running. When I get better your only solution is to run longer and spend more time with you, which I do not have. You are the neediest person I know, the more I give, the more you require from me and I have come to realize this is a one sided relationship. I need to see other people.
Any expert would tell me to get out of this relationship and be with someone who treats me better, matches my efforts or even gives me back more than I give. I have spent over two years without you before writing this letter to you so I could truly know how I felt. I am here to tell you, I feel AMAZING. I am stronger than ever, I have better flexibility and mobility than ever. I have gotten hours back in my life which I can put towards anything else I want. I have not gained one extra pound from not being with you, if anything I look leaner and feel more ripped because I spent more time in other effective areas which are much more dynamic, productive and have much more personality than you.
You bore me. You hear me? Running, you bore me. I am not afraid to say it. In our relationship you do the same thing every day, every time. You have gotten no new moves over the years. It is like you are not even trying anymore. Meanwhile I try to spice things up all the time. I change my outfit, I wear t-shirts, no sleeves, pants, shorts, shorter shorts, I buy different shoes every month, I bring music, friends, I sing out loud, I sweat and bleed for you. And all you give me back is pain, discomfort, and the narcotic feeling that I have to have you. No more, my goal is to be healthy for a long period of time. You are not needed for this to happen, and I am at an age where I have to be efficient, so this is the end.
I have moved on to lifting, sprinting, boxing, rowing and damn near anything else that does not involve you. My heart thanks you, my muscles thank you; my family thanks you, although I do have to say my Dr. does not thank you and my chiropractor does not thank you. They made a lot of money from you. I think you may have all been in business together, but,I choose to look forward rather than look back. Without you I am not the same person. I am better. I am healthier. I am in a lot less pain.
I am proud that I had what it took to try my life without you. I am happy to now see I have everything that I wanted without you in my life. So, Running, please do not reach back out to me, do not try to contact me, do not tell me you need me or I can’t live without you. You will get no answer, no response. And if you ever see me lacing up my “running” shoes just know, I am cheating on you with sprints. Or, if you see me doing a light jog on the boardwalk in the summer do not get excited, it is not that same as running damit, I am people watching, there is a difference.